A tribute to every writer's best friend first published in The Guardian to mark the closure of UK's last manufacturer of typewriters: They say if you gave an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters, one would eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare. If you gave those same monkeys a laptop you'd… Continue reading Typewriters: An Illustrated Guide and a Debt of Thanks
Category: Features
The Last Waltz
The Sixties sink into the abyss in Scorsese’s seminal concert film: It’s a common refrain of the serial gig-goer, particularly among those who were around in the 1960s and 70s: ‘you had to be there, maaaaan.’ Although probably nothing could match the experience of having a ticket to the Band’s legendary farewell concert on Thanksgiving… Continue reading The Last Waltz
Items I Have Pushed Up My Bum – by Ernest Hemingway
IGUANA The Iguana is a truly noble lizard. Only lizards are truly noble, just as only man is truly brave and just as the bravest men are bullfighters. Juanito Bonjela was a fine bullfighter and a fine man. He was entertaining me in the Cafe Royal after an afternoon with the bulls in Salamanca.… Continue reading Items I Have Pushed Up My Bum – by Ernest Hemingway
The Pessimist’s Guide to Online Dating
It’s up for debate whether the internet has made dating more like applying for a job or applying for a job more like dating, but nowadays both involve seeing something you like, putting a lot of thought into an application and then not receiving any response. But relationships, like jobs, are a necessary evil, and… Continue reading The Pessimist’s Guide to Online Dating
A Game of Guess Who? with Samuel Beckett
Have you not done tormenting me with your accursed time? Are they a girl or a boy? Is their face bovine? Disfigured? Imprinted by the creases of a lifetime's humiliation? Their mouth. Is it an organ of emission without intellect? And their eyes? Are their eyes filled with tears? Or do they look on.… Continue reading A Game of Guess Who? with Samuel Beckett
Boaking Heads – The HULL: ENGLISH Dictionary A-C
The city of Kingston Upon Hull is famous for three things: pattie butties, white telephone boxes and derelict buildings that burn down in mysterious circumstances. It’s also home to a dialect that’s unusual even for Yorkshire. If you’re planning a visit to last year’s City of Culture, or you’re about to be sent to… Continue reading Boaking Heads – The HULL: ENGLISH Dictionary A-C
Nothing is Happening Number One – There is a Mag-Lite that Never Goes Out
January 2018 The final major work of Hull’s year as City of Culture had been an epic light installation called WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE? It involved monstrous spotlights – the machines themselves like robot aliens hunched in the streets – which each night would shine on the architectural icons of the city… Continue reading Nothing is Happening Number One – There is a Mag-Lite that Never Goes Out
Wrong Twice a Day
The Profound and Sometimes Malevolent Influence of Stopped Clocks in the Movies: The clock, it might be said, is the original supporting artist. They pepper the movie landscape like stars, although their presence is often overlooked as they stand, indifferent, while the more exciting action unfolds around them. Such is their ubiquity that in 2010… Continue reading Wrong Twice a Day
The Six Most Bizarre Things Ever Found in a Freezer (That Aren’t Dead People)
This listicle was rejected by Cracked.com for being 'hella specific' but the facts unearthed are too alarming to simply be left forgotten on the slush pile: There’s always something lurking back there, in the very deepest recesses of the freezer unit. Usually it’s half-forgotten foodstuffs – leftovers in a plastic tub or a Sara Lee… Continue reading The Six Most Bizarre Things Ever Found in a Freezer (That Aren’t Dead People)